Racism

I have watched, I have listened and I have tried to wrap my mind around everything that is been going on. I i’s been extremely hard. Right now, I just hope I can provide some perspective and a starting point for reconciliation. So here goes...

George Floyd’s life was taken from him. He did not deserve to die. I did not know him but I felt like I did. Just like I felt like I knew Ahmaud Arbery, Trayvon Martin, Philando Castile, Eric Garner and so many others. You see, I feel this way after each of these incidents because I do know them. They are me. They are my brothers. They are my nephews, my cousins, and my students. They are my neighbors; they are my friends. They are my future children and grandchildren.

If you are reading this then you probably know me. But if you don’t then just replace me with someone else you know and love and imagine this... Imagine me or your loved one under Derek Chauvin’s knee instead of George Floyd. Can you see me? Them? Facedown on the pavement, a grown man applying the entirety of his weight to the back of my neck as I labor to breathe and my nose begins to bleed. Do you hear me as I cry for my mom? If you know me you know how much I love my mom and how much she loves me. Can you see her sobbing uncontrollably over my lifeless body? Can you imagine me, or someone you love living out our last moments in that way? Alone? Unloved? Hated? Knowing that everyone is watching but help is out of reach? Imagine me or your loved one coming to the realization that we are going to die and simply waiting for the moment to arrive. Can you feel our pain? Can you imagine what we must be thinking? Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why are they killing me? Why won’t anyone help me? Now imagine not bothering to ask those questions because you already know the answer. “I am black, I matter less, and I am dispensable.”

The exercise you just participated in is what happens in the minds of black Americans when they see these heinous acts committed over and over without justice. It is instantaneous and it sends a message. “I am worth less.” Doesn’t that seem like a horrible nightmare? Now imagine that nightmare on repeat. Not just in the media when we turn on the TV or scroll through social media but in the back of our minds as we live out our everyday lives. The lives God gave to us just like the lives he gave to officers Derek Chauvin and Jason Van Dyke. Are our lives worth less than theirs? History has told us that they are. Our society and the systems that have been put into place have told us that they are. Our experience has told us they are.

I recognize that in many ways I have lived a privileged life and I would never pretend to know by experience the full extent of how systemic racism has impacted the lives of my black and brown brothers and sisters that come from places I can never pretend to be from. Conversely, with all of my privilege I can never truly enjoy or pretend to enjoy the privilege that my white brothers and sister enjoy day to day. I say this because like you, my experiences and my position have shaped my perspective. I’m realizing more and more that my perspective is not the only one that matters and that I need to shift my perspective to see through the eyes of others if I really care about influencing others and promoting positive change. If this does not seem like a mind-blowing revelation, that’s because it is not. Yet, it remains an elusive practice.

I want you to try something, reach out to someone who doesn’t look like you and have a conversation. Say hey, “ I love you and I respect you, can we talk about this? Can I make mistakes and bump my head with you? Can you explain how you feel and why? Can I explain how I feel and why? Can we promise to not pass judgment?” You will be enlightened; your relationship will blossom and you will become deeply invested in someone else. That deep investment will manifest into love and that love will move us forward. One conversation at a time. These conversations will be hard, they will be painful but they will be life changing. If you don’t know someone you can talk to, message me. I will listen to you. Let me also be clear about this, I encourage everyone to do this with someone that comes from a different background but it’s just as important to do it with those that look like us and that come from where we come from because our perspectives differ too.

I will end with this, we are all ignorant in some way, black, white or otherwise. Shaming each other for our ignorance is not going to benefit anyone. Ignorance is not a crime; the crime is never caring to shed that ignorance. Our perspective is not the only one that matters and everything is not okay. We will never get to the mountain top believing those things to be true. Now is not the time to push each other away or to alienate one another. We need to move toward one another and stretch our minds and our hearts beyond what we thought possible. I don’t have all the answers and knowing that is as good a place to start as any because that reminds me that there is so much more to learn. Thanks for hearing me.